Just cropdusted the office
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize