so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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