i can't believe i had my finger in that
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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