That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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