Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize