I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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