I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize