My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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