Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize