weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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