someone threw a dead crab at me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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