your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
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We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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