I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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