everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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