I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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