...so i touched it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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