I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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