A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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