hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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