He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
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no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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