You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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