I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize