Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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