he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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