i already hear my dad disowning me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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