Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize