Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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