two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize