tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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