drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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