question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize