I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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