Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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