why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
do nipples grow back?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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