IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize