I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
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Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
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So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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