he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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