JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize