I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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