Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize