mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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