OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
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well most of my day revolves around power hour
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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