didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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