Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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