If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize