the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize