I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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