the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
NoShamevember. You game?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize