we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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