it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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